I haven't abandoned this blog. I promise! I've been so busy with work and home life that I just haven't made the time to post.
I have lots of updates on my care at Shady Grove that I'll share in a post sometime this week.
I wanted to make this post about how I've been, emotionally, over the last month leading up to our (hopefully) first cycle of actual fertility treatment.
July was our last unmedicated cycle and it was unmonitored and I didn't chart. We decided we would start Clomid, monitoring and and triggered ovulation with this August cycle.
I felt so free. It felt like I had laid down all the baggage of the last year when we finally decided we were ready for treatment. I had been ready. It took D a little longer to get there. But we were there. Finally.
So instead of worrying about whether or not I was doing the right things, I could put that burden on my RE and nurses. They could monitor my cycle. They could watch to see when I was ready to ovulate. They could tell me what my perfect fertile window would be. All I have to do is take the medication and do what they tell me.
It's a relief. Scary but still a relief. For such a serious control freak, it was sort of surreal to get ready for someone else to plan and control all aspects of my babymaking endeavors.
It also feels slightly kinky. But it's not. It's all very scientific and medical. Even the part where my nurse calls to tell me "so you'll have sex tonight and tomorrow night." So official y'all.
