I talk a lot about perspective but generally I'm being all preachy about it. Telling people that they should have a little perspective when it comes to IF. I don't spend much time reflecting on times when I could use a fresh one.
Yesterday a co-worker was talking my ear off about my IF struggles. It's the same conversation every time. She asks me if I have a lot of stress in my life that could be "causing" my miscarriages, I try to gently explain that she is completely talking out of her ass. She asks what the next steps are, I tell her "we don't know" because I don't need her to know the exact status of my reproductive organs. You know, standard water cooler talk, for sure.
She always manages to throw in the dreaded "at least you have one child already" and up until yesterday, I always took it as such an insult. I mean, it is still an insult but I started thinking more about it afterwards.
I constantly mention that I'm thankful to have A and I can't begin to imagine how it feels to battle IF when you don't have any children at all, but I don't think I truly appreciate the perspective of women with primary infertility. Even though we didn't get pregnant with A right away, I know full well I was at a point in my life where it wasn't life altering to get a BFN. Sure it was sad but we weren't completely engulfed in TTC and so I easily reasoned myself out of the sadness. This month wasn't good anyway and Oh I knew our timing was bad weren't as tough to swallow. I meant it then.
So after she reiterated the whole "at least you have one" spiel, I thought about it and came to the conclusion that it's not such a bad thing to be reminded of. Sure, I'd prefer it didn't come from someone so ridiculous and condescending, but there's truth to it, regardless. So while I'm busy feeling sorry for myself and expecting everyone else to be sensitive to that, I would do well to remember to live up to the same expectations.
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